I have not written anything substantial for around 12months. I have dabbled with short horror flash fiction but basically the past year has been filled with a drought of inspiration. Many things contributed to this, life, lack of mojo, and general laziness. But I think the rot set in during NaNoWriMo 2015.
I had a great idea, I didn’t plan too much and got off to a great start. Then, as per my usual, hit the 15K barrier and just gave up. I was bored with my characters, bored with the story and just couldn’t be bothered pushing through the wall. This in turn forced me to relook at what I write and I became convinced that my writing was rubbish, what was the point of carrying on.
I gave up on OfficeMango, stopped posting Horror Bites Challenges, didn’t even read very much. I have to be honest it was horrible. Something was missing but I refused to accept it was writing that in the past had kept me stable. Eventually I found a few new horror writers and devoured all I could by them, reinforcing that I could never write a full length novel, I just wasn’t good enough. My ideas were not complete enough.
I realised during this time of imersing myself in other horror writers worlds, scaring me, creeping me out or even making me shudder during a horror story is very difficult. My Horror limits must be higher than most normal people lol. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing but one I have slowly came to accept and finally embrace.
My mind doesn’t work like other people. I have been told by friends who are writers and non writers that I have scared the hell out of them, that some of my writing has been too creepy to read in dusk let alone at bedtime. My mother stopped reading my stuff a while ago because it was too disturbing, my husband will read what I write but only if I really want him to and it’s not too creepy.
I recently found that I’m coming up with ideas for stories, really horrible, freaky, kiss ass stories. This has surprised and delighted me. The very fact my ability to think about possibly writing again brought back something I didn’t even know was missing. OfficeMango had been left in the wilderness so I could either revamp it or start again, both would involve the same amount of work. After much soul searching I decided to create a new site, a more focused site and so GetWordy was born.
I hope you will join me on my journey back into the world of writing horror.